Thursday, July 17, 2008

Stephen Colbert is the Biggest Douchebag !!

I have never seen his show before, nor barely recognized his name, until tonight after getting the exciting announcement that the incredible Canadian rock band Rush was going to appear on his show, for the band's first U.S. television appearance in 33 years. Now I can say I will NEVER watch this fucktard's show again. Don't get me wrong, I love political satire. I'm a huge Bill Maher fan.

Now I barely ever take a break from my computer to watch any TV, but I made it a point tonight to watch Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart (who is probably one of the best drummers in rock music history) show their stuff. I've been a fan of Rush since the mid-70's, so I was excited to catch this rare glimpse of them up close on the telly.

I do get the premise of the show and that it's suppose to satire shows like Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor and Colbert is supposed to play somewhat of a dummy news broadcaster. I got that part. But, it is still supposed to be entertaining, correct?

Fortunately, The Colbert Report is only a 30 disaster of a show and I didn't have to sit through 60 or 90 minutes just to get to the good part at the end.

Anyway ... Colbert does his lame shtick show that made fun of George Bush (how original) and he must have the worst script writers. "... Bush is a lame duck President so when he leaves office he will say goodbye to the folks in Iraq by saying 'I broke it, now you pay for it'." Uhhh ... gimme a break moron. My dog could write funnier jokes.

So then more than half his show is commercial breaks (another pet peeve of mine... cable channels with commercials). He finally introduces the band. The band is sitting on some standard stools and Colbert clips on a cable, suspended from the ceiling, to his belt on his pants as if he's going mountain-climbing. He then hops on an oversized stool that's maybe 4 feet off the ground (ummm ... he needs a safety harness for that?). Why on earth does he do that? Is there any humor involved there? If there is, I missed that lesson in school.

Colbert starts to interview the band, yet he does not ask any serious questions and pretty much every question was a rhetorical question, not requiring an answer from the band, but only to entice the band to perhaps chuckle. Seriously, that was the interview. The closest thing to a real question was when he asked Neil what was his favorite color. Neil replies "red" and the camera does a close up of Neil's head and puts a red-colored filter on the lens so the TV screen is all red. Stunning.

Colbert was reading these ridiculous questions off cue cards alternating questions from himself and Jimmy, the show's director. He asks the band who their inspirations were, which we find out were early British bands like, The Who, Cream, John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers, etc. So Colbert says to the band that Rush is known for epic (long) songs and wanted to know since the band's songs tend to be so long, do they actually play one of those tracks and since it's so long, do they actually inspire themselves when they get towards the end of the song (ok, that was cute attempt at humor, I'll give him that).

After the short interview Colbert was about to cut to yet another commercial but the director tells him the band had time to do their song now, so the introduction to the band again and they jump right into their seminal classic, "Tom Sawyer" which to me is one of the finest songs this band has done. It really exemplifies each of the trio's incredible abilities as musicians. The band was sounding really good. It was not the best performance, but was still amazing to listen and watch.

Now get this shit ... during the guitar solo in the song, Colbert jumps out in front of the band waving his arms and blabbering and thanking the band and cuts right to another friggin commercial break in the middle of the song and says that the band will continue playing during the break. That's all cool for the live audience, but does us home TV viewers (the people who helped him win his Emmy awards) no good.

It gets better now .. after the commercial break, which was clearly just an edit of the pre-recorded broadcast, Rush is still playing Tom Sawyer in the background while the camera is focused now at Colbert at his desk saying goodnight and he proceeds to pull out a sleeping cap that he puts on his head. He then pulls out a pillow and a quilted blanket (or sleeping bag, couldn't tell) then feigns going to sleep right on his desk while Rush is still playing!! CAN HE BE ANYMORE INSULTING TO HIS GUESTS ?!?!?!

If I were the band, I would've gone over there and kicked his ass. How rude. Stephen Colbert says he's a fan of the band and that they "were so awesome and kicked ass," but mocks them by saying their songs are too long and pretends to go to sleep during their performance. The band played only ONE song. Now keep in mind, the band was not straying far from the original production of their 1981 classic which is only FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES LONG. Does that sound long to you? The shows credits came on screen and the show ended while the band was still going. That just puts it into perspective on how fast they cut them off.

For that, Stephen Colbert is the Biggest Douchebag !!


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