Silly Invention of The Week

The GoateeSaver is a little contraption you use by putting part of it in your mouth and biting down. This leaves the bulk of it on your face, making you look like you're wearing a robotic respirator of some sort. This chunk covers up your goatee, allowing you to shave around it and achieve the perfect shape every time.

goateesaver.com

[Gizmodo]

I'd much prefer the Goatse-saver.